Of Birds, Bees, And Gems
by Sir Sebastian
Summary: For years Steven has struggled with being alive instead of his mother. Now he needs answers.


**Of Birds, Bees, And Gems**

 _A Steven Universe fanfic,_ _by Sir Sebastian_

* * *

Rose Quartz. One of the most respected and powerful Gems ever known. Even her physical form was bigger than life. She was the source of countless legends and stories, each more fantastic than the last.

Steven Universe knew her - as mom. Yet legends and stories were all Steven had of his near mythical parent. He never got to know her, he had never even met her. For she gave her life for his. That was all Steven knew of his mom. She ceased to exist to allow him to. As the now teenaged Steven gazed upon the huge painting of Rose hanging on the wall of the house he shared with the Crystal Gems, he couldn't help but wonder why.

"Steven, we have a mission!"

Steven looked away from the painting and saw the Gems going to the warp pad. He loved missions, but the questions brewing inside him all these years needed answers. He had never been able to get a straight answer from the Gems; either they weren't willing to tell him - or they just didn't know. Neither was enough for him, not anymore.

"Actually, I have something I need to do. You guys go on without me," Steven said.

"But, Steven, we need your shield," Pearl implored.

"Yeah, Steven. And it's not gonna be as fun without you," Amethyst complained in that weirdly cheery way of hers.

Garnet just stared at him ever so enigmatically from behind those reflective glasses. She turned to her mates: "It's alright. We'll manage without him. Let's go."

Before anyone could protest Garnet activated the warp pad sending the Gems to some far corner of the world. As his friends vanished into the warp stream Steven sighed with relief. Garnet always seemed to know when to back off. Maybe it was the future vision.

He jumped on his bike and rode it into town. He found his dad's mobile home next to the car wash he owned. Greg, Steven's father, had switched the van for the mobile home a couple years ago. Maybe it was an old people thing.

"Dad?" Steven called.

"In here, son," came from inside the mobile home.

Steven went inside and found his father watching tv.

"Shouldn't you be washing cars?" Steven asked.

"Not much business today, so I'm catching up on my stories."

"So, you'll have some time to talk then."

Greg turned off the tv and swiveled his chair to face Steven.

"I always have time for my son. What's up, kiddo?"

"It's about mom," Steven said gingerly.

"Oh," Greg said and looked down, awkwardly rubbing the back of his head.

"I just want to know where I came from, how mom got pregnant."

"You see, when a man and a woman love each other very much-"

"Dad, I don't need the birds and the bees talk, I do know about sex."

"You do? When did that happen?"

"A while ago. I am sixteen, dad."

"Wait, you and Connie haven't…?"

"No. The only merging we've done is the fusion."

"Good."

"Not that I don't want to," Steven muttered. He had broached the subject with Connie, several times, but because of her upbringing she was deathly afraid of STDs and getting pregnant (which were probably the same thing in her mind). And there was the fact that she was actually fourteen, which made the whole thing at the very least questionable, possibly even illegal.

"What was that?"

"Nothing."

"Okay. But if you know about this stuff, why are you asking me?"

"We both know Gems aren't like humans. They look like humans, sorta, but they aren't humans."

"They sure aren't," Greg rubbed the back of his neck. "I get what you're asking. It's not like I'm an expert on Gems, I can only tell you what I've learned from Rose."

Steven sat on a stool next to the kitchen nook.

"We talked about these things quite a bit. Not sure I really understood it all, but I'll try to tell you what I can. Okay, so Gems aren't really men or women. Sure they look all female, but that's a choice. Don't ask me why. And they're - what's the word, not-sexual or something?"

"Asexual?"

"Yeah, that's it. They don't need to have sex to procreate, as you well know."

Steven knew quite well of the breeding practices of Gems: how they plant Gemlings in the ground, how they grow sucking the life out of the planet, leaving it a lifeless rock. Such would have been the fate of Earth, if not for his mother and the Crystal Gems.

"So how did you two…?"

"I feel really awkward talking to you about this stuff."

"It's not like _I'm_ itching to hear about my parents doing it, but I really need to know where I came from."

"Well, okay. Your mother and I… did have sex, yes. The only reason we were able to was because she changed herself to be more like humans."

"She did that for you?"

"No, not me. Rose, she… always had a thing for humans. I wasn't the first guy she had been with. Not very flattering for me, I know. But I know I was the first human relationship she had that was serious. We had a baby for Pete's sake!"

"About that… You said she made herself more human-like. But there's some pretty complicated stuff down there, she couldn't have-"

"There _is_ some pretty complicated stuff down there, believe you me," Greg interrupted. "Always pay attention to the little guy on a boat. Remember that."

"What's a little guy on a boat?"

"When the time comes, you'll know. And you'll thank me."

Steven just stared at his dad, bewildered.

"But about Rose getting pregnant… To put it simply, she willed it."

"She… _willed_ it?"

"Yeah. When we, uh… you know, she willed a part of herself to combine with me. There was nothing accidental or unexpected about you. She willed you to be."

"Why'd she do that if it meant she'd have to stop existing?"

"Because she didn't know that at first. But even as she came to realize she'd have to give up her existence for yours, she didn't mind. She wanted to give you life. Her life."

Steven felt a twinge of guilt. Not just because of his mother's sacrifice, but from the pained look on his father's face. He'd spent years trying to come to grips with being alive instead of his Super Mom, yet the final stage of acceptance always eluded him.

"Steven, I know you've always felt guilty for your mom not being around, but I want you to know I never blamed you. I've never felt anything but love for you, because you're my son."

"But-"

"Dammit! No buts!" Greg yelled, getting up. "Seriously, Steven, you've got to let this go. You are here because people wanted you to be here. If you continue to blame yourself, you're not only undermining yourself, you are disgracing the effort and sacrifice of the people who brought you here and raised you."

Steven felt ashamed for his feelings, yet couldn't completely shake them.

"Dad, I'm sorry. I-"

"Look, I get it. But you need to get it in your head that you're here because we want you to be here."

Steven walked away feeling conflicted. On one hand he realized what his father said was true, but it wasn't enough to shake his feelings of guilt.

When he got back home he laid back on the terrace. He lay there until the stars came out.

Pearl came out of the house. "Steven, what on Earth are you doing out here?"

"Thinking," he replied simply.

"Wouldn't you rather think inside the house?"

"Nah, I'm good right here."

Just as Pearl was about to leave, Steven patted the space next to him. "Pearl, please think with me."

"Oh. Okay…" Pearl came over and laid down next to Steven. "Am I doing it right?" she asked.

Steven really liked Pearl. He liked all the Crystal Gems. So he felt it unfair to ambush Pearl with a straight question and tried to soften it up a little.

"Pearl, you liked my mother, right?" Steven asked, tapping his index fingers together.

"Of course I did! Everyone liked your mother," Pearl replied in earnest.

"But you more than liked her."

"I respected her," Pearl said and raised her fist for emphasis. "She was a mighty warrior."

"Not what I meant. I know you loved her. You were in love with her."

"I-," Pearl was caught off guard, and brought her hands tight against her chest. "Where did you get that idea from?"

"Pearl, anyone who's not blind could see you were in love with her."

Pearl took the longest pause. "Yes. I loved Rose Quartz. I was in love with her. She was… the most brilliant Gem I've ever met."

"And how do you feel about me?"

"What are you talking about?"

"You loved my mom. And she gave her life so I could be born. You can't tell me you don't blame me just a little."

"No, Steven, I never-"

"Pearl, please. Just for this once I really need for you to be completely honest with me."

"I don't know what you want from me," Pearl said, agitated.

"I want you to tell me the truth."

"You want me to tell you I hated you for taking away my precious Rose?" Pearl shouted, her volume rising with each word. "Yes! When you were a baby for the longest time I hated you and Greg."

Pearl took a moment to compose herself.

"But I came to accept that it was her choice to bring you to this world, and I should respect that."

"Do you really mean that?"

Pearl turned to Steven and reached over to take his hand. "Steven, I love you. We all love you. You're one of us. You're a Crystal Gem."

"Thanks, Pearl," Steven smiled sadly.

"Everything I loved in and about Rose, is still here," Pearl laid her hand on Steven's gem. "And here," she poked Steven in the forehead.

"Okay," Steven rubbed his forehead. He felt better. With Pearl's support he felt he could finally move on. "I think I'm done thinking. I'm gonna head inside," he said and got up. He went to the door. "You coming?"

Pearl didn't move. "You go ahead. I'm going to do some more 'thinking'."

Left by herself, Pearl stared up at the sky. She lifted her hand, reaching out to the stars. A special constellation could be seen just beyond her fingers, almost as if being held on the palm of her hand. It was one she had named herself, as a present after spending a thousand years together on this planet.

"Rose," Pearl whispered as a single tear ran down her cheek.

* * *

 _The End._


End file.
